I keep feeling dizzy. It sucks. Passed out once. 
Jason’s car broke down today. So I had to go pick him up from work, and now I’m eating the snack wrap and fries he bought me. Yum yum. I made this new layout! I likes it. I added another recipe! Yummy BBQ Ribs. You HAVE to try them.
It’s almost valentines. I’m planning on doing something special for Jason. Don’t know what yet though. Any ideas?
Standing in the middle of a crowd screaming my head off, and no one ever hears me. It feels like everything is falling apart in front of me. I can’t escape. I can’t trust anyone. I feel so lost, and I don’t understand. No one understands. I want to escape this. Just run away. No one to turn to anymore. I just want to get away. I hate myself so much, I wish I could just end it. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t know what to do. Why do I have to think! My head just won’t stop, no matter how many times I bang it on the wall. It just won’t stop. Please. Stop. Mom, I need you. Please come home.
My Aunt Pattie passed away. I feel horrible, I feel so much regret. I wish I could’ve been there for her, like when she was there for me. I wish I could’ve done something. Traded places maybe. I just miss her. RIP Aunt Pattie. I LOVE YOU.
Well, my car is totaled. Jason Jay kinda uh fish tailed in into someone’s fence, and yes, it’s gone. He says he was going the speed limit, but I doubt it.
In this house greed has taken over, everyone seems against eachother and I hate it. My body is so sore, and bruised up. It’s hard to walk around. It’s a long story which none of you should know so i’ll just shut up about it. I have a court date for the minor in consumption ticket thing I got from before new years. I think I’m gonna have to reschedule though, I have no transportation. I know I’m gonna win though. They had no right doing what they did. We called the ambulence because of my pluerisy, and they never even showed up. Just the dumb cops to hurt me. :/ I hate cops. I really miss Kali though. It was so fun being with her again. She makes me feel alive. I wish we lived closer together again. Like the old days, we’d just ride bike’s to eachother, and meet at cronic creek or faerie island. HAHA. That was the best. I miss it.
Happy New Years everyone! And a late merry x-mas! I hope everyone had fun. I was uhm, well at a … game shop for the new year, playing games. :D A few days ago I celebrated already at Kali’s house, and I got so sick. Jack’s fault. I felt blehghghh.. I puked, alot. Pluerisy came into the picture and I couldn’t breathe, so they called 911. By the time the cops got there I was all sobered up, they came in and told me to turn over. I replied “I can’t” because of course I was freaking hurting, and a fucking 300 pound pig had to jump on me and put me in cuffs. My hands are all bruised up, and my back has been hurting so much more now. I ended up with a minor in consumption + posession. My brother, Jason and.. Jason had to drive up to Idaho and pick me up. After I got home I was so dehydrated, so of course I drank lots of water, and just ended up puking right after. I just kept drinking though, and puking, at least after I puked I felt a little better. I felt like I was dying until the next night. I’m so glad it’s over though. Jack kicked my ass.
It’s Jason’s birthday tomorrow. He’s so old. *Giggles* But I’ve already spoiled it and gave him his presents like, 6 days early. I suck, and I couldn’t help myself. Oh well though. He needed it though, I got him a new jacket. It’s a cool one! It’s like 3 jackets in 1. I wanted him to be warm, and then I got him a new wallet. His old one was broken. :0 I did get him some other stuff… small stuff, and then just tonight I had to get him more stuff, but they’re secrets for now.
Work has been horrible for me. The work is easy yes, but I’m just not healthy enough to do it. I get horrible back pains where I even start crying in front of customers, and I keep getting really dizzy and I accually threw up today. Not to mention I passed out too. I hate it. I hate feeling like this all the time.
Yes finally it’s snowing and going to be staying! Haha. Jason’s first time driving in the snow he went into the ditch. I knew he would. I coudln’t stop laughing for awhile. Lol. But yes nothing’s hurt and we got out fine. A couple guys pulled over and helped push the car out. I can’t wait to go outside and play in the snow. I need to get gloves though, or I’ll die. Well not exactly but yes, I have cold urticaria. I hate it, I’m allergic to everything. Like wth how can someone be allergic to the cold? Too bad I didn’t get to go shopping on Friday. I saw a bunch of things online that were for sale. My USB wireless thing I have was only $2.99! So sad. Oh well though, I want to save up anyways, if I went shopping for Black Friday I wouldn’t be able to help myself, and would end up with no money for Christmas presents. It’s comming up so fast.
Oh and I finally got all your guys’ comments. Man I don’t remember having to approve of them first! the first comment I didn’t. I wonder how the settings got changed. 
Haha. Oh plus I haven’t had a computer for awhile. It’s been dead. Stupid hard drive is dying, but it’s a survior because it should’ve been dead by now. Gonna reinstall Windows XP tonight, but I can’t find the stupid USB wireless drivers.
Changed theme for Christmas! Like I said it’s comming so fast! *Gets excited* !@#!
Added a new recipe! Chicken Salad. I make this at my work all the time, one of the most selling salads there, and most pricey too. It’s my favorite. 
The deli’s is pretty fun, only cause I get to try tons of new food, and make it! I’m gonna be a chef. Muah. I’ve been working for like 6 days straight now. This is my first day off and I’m so glad. Yesterday my foot was so sore, I couldn’t even walk on it. My back and neck have been hurting alot more too. It sucks. I wish I could just fast forward until like a month into working so my body is already use to it. I can’t wait to get paid though, it’ll make my pain feel.. . not that bad. The cool thing is I get paid every week too. On Thursdays. The people I work with are pretty awesome too. I work with two of the people I went to school with. The others are older but they are so cool. They’re fun. The manager I haven’t really clicked with yet. Heh of course it has to be the most important one. Pfft, but oh well we can all rebel against her. Muahaha. No, jk. I hope she likes me as much as the other people do. I’ve only worked with her a few days. All the workers say I’ve been doing uber good, and I’m like the fastest trainee, normally it takes others a few times to get it, but I caught on right away, and I’ve been practically independant since like day 2. I’m proud of myself. BUT damn I want some employee discounts or something. B!tch#s.
Ooo, and today my mom and I are going to get a pink carpet! SWEET. My mom got it for me off the spokane craigslist. That place is pretty awesome. Now I just have to clean my room. Oh god is it messy. Lots and lots of laundry to do too. >.<