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Well, what a week it’s been. Had a cardiology appointment a few days ago, and well he wanted to hospitalize me.. right then and there. It was amazing to actually find someone who thought what I was going through was not normal. Everyone else just seems like it’s not a big deal, and well I guess it leaked on me too. I just got use to the fact of hurting and learned to suppress it. But wow. I told him I had some stuff to do so we arranged for me to be admitted the next day so I can get a bunch of testing done. So, I got sent home with a 24-hour heart monitor. It ended up giving me welts and made my skin bleed. Stupid things! I hate allergies. Anyways, the next day I went in. Everything was going fine, my Mom dropped Marty and I off and got me settled in. I got to order lots of food, and watched Family Guy. It was kinda nice. Hours later, around like 1 – 2am, the pain began. A little tears here and there.. Then it lead to screams and agony. The nurses did absolutely.. well nothing! It took awhile but I eventually was able to get some hydrocodone, still did nothing for me. The nurse refused to call the doctor to see if we could get some more pain meds. Her excuse was she didn’t want to wake her again. So my mom came to pick me up. Marty remembered the last nurse say they’d have to call the doctor if I left. So he asked if the nurse was going to call to tell the doctor, she replied yeah sure want me to?.. We were all just, in shock. I mean she’d call the doctor to tell her that we were leaving yet, she couldn’t call to keep me out of pain? What kind of bullshit is that? It is their job to keep me out of pain! I just.. can’t understand it. Marty even asked her that, and she replied, “how about I just have security escort you out?” and she walked out. So, of course we left too and on our way security came and walked us out. I hate hospitals, I hate ambulances, doctors, nurses… ugh! They have no passion anymore, care more for the money than the patient and that’s not how its suppose to be. They’ve lost their values.

I finally thought that it was my turn to get everything right, thought it was about time to find out what was wrong. I guess 9 years isn’t enough.

The worst day of my life.

I hate police and the ambulance people! As well as the EMS. It was on Friday. I was sick, I was for three days. My tail bone was killing me, so I could barely walk. It felt like I fell on it going down 3 flights of stairs, and my legs ached really bad. I had a migraine so intense I could barely open my eyes, the lights killed me. I couldn’t eat, and when I did it just came right back up. I did however eat a apple. I drank tons of water, one cup after another. I decided I couldn’t take it anymore and my mom was gonna take me to the hospital. Finally we were in the car. I was all bundled up and had sunglasses on, and even though with my eyes closed, it was so bright outside it hurt. We were going to Holy Family Hospital in Spokane, because the Hospital in Deer Park said they’d just have me transported there anyway cause there wouldn’t be anything they could do. They told us just to drive there. We were on Highway 395, my mother speeding of course. Then there was a undercover cop behind us, my mom refused to stop and tried to wave the cop in. I kept telling her to stop and she finally did. I wish she hadn’t now. The cop come out and yells for everyone to raise their hands, he gets up to the window with his gun still drawn. My mother is trying to explain to him that it’s a life threatening situation and I needed a hospital. She tried to convince him to escort us or let us go because sitting there was not helping. Then I blacked out, I don’t remember what happened, but apparently I quit breathing. I next remember opening my eyes to brightness and having to shut them. The pain so intense, I was crying.. and it was very cold. The cop kept telling me to open my eyes and kept trying to push open my eyes, making it only hurt worse. I told him it hurt. Then I think it was the EMS who showed up, they put an oxygen mask on me. I kept screaming in pain it hurt so bad, they just kept asking me if I took anything, and kept trying to open my eyes. It was hard to make out what else they were saying with my ears ringing. Finally the ambulance is here, they help me up and onto the gurney? and strap me down. Yet they still stayed there. I was freezing, in pain, and they take their time. Laying there my body started to hurt more. Maybe it was because there was more pressure on my tail bone. They finally put me in the back of the ambulance, and then I got to wait there some more. I begged to get out because it was hurting, all I heard was a “nope”. I didn’t know where it came from or whom it came from because my eyes were still shut. I needed to get out, I couldn’t take it so I used my legs to slide myself out of the bed and from under the straps, but someone above caught me. He yelled for help, and a bunch of people came and held me down. It actually really really hurt. They tied my wrists and legs down to the bed. The man said I tried to swing at him, but how could I with my eyes shut and my arms to the side with straps over them. I barely got a foot above the bed. I begged and pleaded for them to let me out, it was hurting. I then heard someone say to one, “She wants to get out, ask the officer.” He came back with the reply, “He said nope, she’s going. Man he is so pissed”. The ambulance was only making me hurt more, and wait more. I screamed for my mother, I needed her, she would help me. I begged them to let her ride with us, they refused. So I kept screaming for her, and hear her screaming for me, I knew she was trying to get to me, but they wouldn’t let her. I wanted my mom. We still have not left, more than 15 minutes of them being there and we’re still not gone. Finally I hear them say we were going to Sacred Heart because Holy Family wasn’t taking patients. The doors shut and I felt movement. I begged them to untie me so I could at least turn because it was hurting to much on my back. He said, “well you shouldn’t have swung at me.”, I replied “How could I have hit you my eyes are closed, it hurts to see, I didn’t know where anyone was and if I did accidentally hit you, I’m sorry, just let me out.” He refused. I kept crying, trying to turn my torso to the side. Finally I actually could turn it a little so it doesn’t hurt as much only to have one of them slam me back down. They wouldn’t even let my body turn just a little. They were so mean to me. One of the guys asks the driver, “Could we just take her to Holy Family? Because I really don’t wanna deal with her the whole way there. Try calling.” At the point I felt so worthless. My headache started to calm down and I was able to open my eyes, but just barely. Just to see the face of one of the EMS people riding in back on the ambulance. If she was able to go, why couldn’t mother? The whole way there all they kept asking was if I was on drugs, or, what drugs did I take. They kept saying they knew I took something. Over and over. I eventually just gave up on saying no and ignored them. My back was hurting so much more laying on my back, still crying in pain. They did absolutely nothing for me but make it worse. Holy Family said it was alright for them to go there. I was relieved I didn’t have to be there that long. I then realized that the ambulance was stopping. At the lights I supposed, realizing they didn’t even have their sirens on. I hear them say they need extra security for when we get there. Finally we make it there. Me, still crying in pain is loaded off and finally back beside my mother. I felt calm. They brought me into a room and shut my mom out. A lady and at least 3 guys were in the room. The lady asks me to sit up and take off my sweater so I start to, and she assists me. Then I realize she’s taking off my shirt too, I tell her to stop, and make them get out first but they didn’t. She undressed me to bra and underwear, in front of all of them. I never felt more humiliated ever, how do they have a right to treat me like this? What did I do so wrong, I do not understand. Well that was the end of the worst day ever. I got morphine to take away my pain, and they did a bunch of blood work. All of my vitals were very low. Turned up as a kidney infection and bladder infection. They still do not know the cause and suggest a specialist. They even took some x-rays, nothing turned up. So they sent me home with nausea medicine, hydrocodones, and antibiotics.

I need to do something about this. I don’t know what but it was NOT right at all. I’m thinking about getting a lawyer.


My Aunt Pattie passed away. I feel horrible, I feel so much regret. I wish I could’ve been there for her, like when she was there for me. I wish I could’ve done something. Traded places maybe. I just miss her. RIP Aunt Pattie. I LOVE YOU.

picture-217.jpgpicture-219.jpgpicture-223.jpgWell, my car is totaled. Jason Jay kinda uh fish tailed in into someone’s fence, and yes, it’s gone.  He says he was going the speed limit, but I doubt it.

In this house greed has taken over, everyone seems against eachother and I hate it. My body is so sore, and bruised up. It’s hard to walk around. It’s a long story which none of you should know so i’ll just shut up about it. I have a court date for the minor in consumption ticket thing I got from before new years. I think I’m gonna have to reschedule though, I have no transportation. I know I’m gonna win though. They had no right doing what they did. We called the ambulence because of my pluerisy, and they never even showed up. Just the dumb cops to hurt me. :/ I hate cops. I really miss Kali though. It was so fun being with her again. She makes me feel alive. I wish we lived closer together again. Like the old days, we’d just ride bike’s to eachother, and meet at cronic creek or faerie island. HAHA. That was the best. I miss it.

Driving in a winter wonder road!

It’s been freaking snowing all day. Today we went into town to go get some more magic cards and were planning on going to a tournament, but that part didn’t work out. I got a second angel though, :D.! Yey-ya. Ok, shut up I’m a geek. I wish I had my old magic cards. I bet they’d be pretty spendy. The streets were covered in ice. It’s so pretty. I had to go like 35 mph all the way home. :0 Sllll  ll o  o o o owww mooo ttti on. Saw two cars that got in accidents today. One was a head on, the other iuno wtf he was doing, going too fast prolly and ended up in a ditch between the highway. Dumb people. AND OMG, I HATE when STUPID people have to drive like a foot behind me. I don’t care if I’m going 10 mph, it’s ICE damnit, and .. yeah, it wouldn’t be good if a freaking deer jumped in front of me, idioto. Man. Well anyways, I posted up a new picture. devoted.jpg  <--- There it is!!! MAGNIFY TIMES! 😀 No, hehe go to photography to take a look. I also added random and favorites. Put in some pictures of the yummy food you could make in recipes. So go to cooking! Believe me they're good. Blah blah enough blabble.