Standing in the middle of a crowd screaming my head off, and no one ever hears me. It feels like everything is falling apart in front of me. I can’t escape. I can’t trust anyone. I feel so lost, and I don’t understand. No one understands. I want to escape this. Just run away. No one to turn to anymore. I just want to get away. I hate myself so much, I wish I could just end it. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t know what to do. Why do I have to think! My head just won’t stop, no matter how many times I bang it on the wall. It just won’t stop. Please. Stop. Mom, I need you. Please come home.


My Aunt Pattie passed away. I feel horrible, I feel so much regret. I wish I could’ve been there for her, like when she was there for me. I wish I could’ve done something. Traded places maybe. I just miss her. RIP Aunt Pattie. I LOVE YOU.

picture-217.jpgpicture-219.jpgpicture-223.jpgWell, my car is totaled. Jason Jay kinda uh fish tailed in into someone’s fence, and yes, it’s gone.  He says he was going the speed limit, but I doubt it.

In this house greed has taken over, everyone seems against eachother and I hate it. My body is so sore, and bruised up. It’s hard to walk around. It’s a long story which none of you should know so i’ll just shut up about it. I have a court date for the minor in consumption ticket thing I got from before new years. I think I’m gonna have to reschedule though, I have no transportation. I know I’m gonna win though. They had no right doing what they did. We called the ambulence because of my pluerisy, and they never even showed up. Just the dumb cops to hurt me. :/ I hate cops. I really miss Kali though. It was so fun being with her again. She makes me feel alive. I wish we lived closer together again. Like the old days, we’d just ride bike’s to eachother, and meet at cronic creek or faerie island. HAHA. That was the best. I miss it.

Driving in a winter wonder road!

It’s been freaking snowing all day. Today we went into town to go get some more magic cards and were planning on going to a tournament, but that part didn’t work out. I got a second angel though, :D.! Yey-ya. Ok, shut up I’m a geek. I wish I had my old magic cards. I bet they’d be pretty spendy. The streets were covered in ice. It’s so pretty. I had to go like 35 mph all the way home. :0 Sllll  ll o  o o o owww mooo ttti on. Saw two cars that got in accidents today. One was a head on, the other iuno wtf he was doing, going too fast prolly and ended up in a ditch between the highway. Dumb people. AND OMG, I HATE when STUPID people have to drive like a foot behind me. I don’t care if I’m going 10 mph, it’s ICE damnit, and .. yeah, it wouldn’t be good if a freaking deer jumped in front of me, idioto. Man. Well anyways, I posted up a new picture. devoted.jpg  <--- There it is!!! MAGNIFY TIMES! 😀 No, hehe go to photography to take a look. I also added random and favorites. Put in some pictures of the yummy food you could make in recipes. So go to cooking! Believe me they're good. Blah blah enough blabble.

Work work work.

The deli’s is pretty fun, only cause I get to try tons of new food, and make it! I’m gonna be a chef. Muah. I’ve been working for like 6 days straight now. This is my first day off and I’m so glad. Yesterday my foot was so sore, I couldn’t even walk on it. My back and neck have been hurting alot more too. It sucks. I wish I could just fast forward until like a month into working so my body is already use to it. I can’t wait to get paid though, it’ll make my pain feel.. . not that bad. The cool thing is I get paid every week too. 🙂 On Thursdays. The people I work with are pretty awesome too. I work with two of the people I went to school with. The others are older but they are so cool. They’re fun. The manager I haven’t really clicked with yet. Heh of course it has to be the most important one. Pfft, but oh well we can all rebel against her. Muahaha. No, jk. I hope she likes me as much as the other people do. I’ve only worked with her a few days. All the workers say I’ve been doing uber good, and I’m like the fastest trainee, normally it takes others a few times to get it, but I caught on right away, and I’ve been practically independant since like day 2. I’m proud of myself. BUT damn I want some employee discounts or something. B!tch#s.

 Ooo, and today my mom and I are going to get a pink carpet! SWEET. 🙂 My mom got it for me off the spokane craigslist. That place is pretty awesome. Now I just have to clean my room. Oh god is it messy. Lots and lots of laundry to do too. >.<

Day 1 – Tuesday.

yoke.gifI start working on tuesday! Yes. I already have my uniform and everything. Sucks that it’s 3x bigger than me, but oh well. Stupids.

I hope to get up some more content for this place, but I just don’t know what to do anymore. Everything I can think about seems boring, and well just like any other website I’ve done. I want to do something different. But what? I don’t think I’ll ever know. Any suggestions? Damnit then post something already. 😛


My first post. Woot. How cool is it that my address is my name. 🙂  Well, yesterday I had a UA for a deli job (hey it’s a start!) and today I found out I passed and got the job. I’m happy. Tomorrow I go to fill out some more papers and schedule for next week. I hope I get hours that go with Jason’s schedule. Another thing that is cool is Jason and I work right accross from eachother! Too bad it’s part-time no lunch breaks… it’d be fun eating lunch together in the middle of work. 😛 I did try to get modeling jobs, man they make so much. BUT, I’m too short they need like 5’7″+. Well f- them I can model in my own pictures. lol.